April 23, 2008

• Adoption Pains

  I have to be honest.... This is so hard!!!

  First, it's hard enough to know Ukraine is not as it was back when I adopted my current four children. They are making things so difficult for foreigners to adopt now. Do you know how hard it is for me to know we have a May 8th submission date, but have absolutely NO ability to get a third dossier over there by then if I wanted to?! It's killing me knowing I was so close. Eric says that maybe God is protecting us from something we don't know. I tend to agree, but it sure is hard not asking the WHY to God? KWIM?

  Second, Eric and I just don't give up on things because they get hard or complicated. We have been up for night's on end trying to figure out how we can make our Ukraine adoption work if it is salvageable at all. We are in constant communication with our agency who is in constant communication with our Ukrainian facilitator overseas. We count the days and try to figure out the possibility of getting a dossier done, but reality is it can take up to two weeks just for blood work to come back for the specific medical exam Ukraine requires. All of Eric's income information now comes from Missouri with the US Missions department which will take some time. It usually takes awhile for a homestudy visit to happen and for the paper work to conclude. On and on...... Besides, we don't even know whether THIS hypothetical dossier would even work either!

  How does one really accept or confidently make a decision that it's over?! We are talking about a lost dream and children's lives here! I can't tell you how many nights I have stayed up praying on my knees before the Lord anguishing over all this. I want clear answers!! Is it clear to others, but we are just unwilling to see it?! Don't answer that!

  Third, we have been tracking down information on LOTS of sibling groups in the US. We already have an addendum ready to go if we should proceed in this direction. There are sooooo many children waiting for a forever home right here in our country.

  The problem.... The selection of children seriously dwindles rather quickly when you have to consider the level of abuse they have experienced. I have no issue personally with this as I'm up for any challenge when it comes to the life of a child, but I must take in consideration the safety of my current children. Of course, social workers are doing this as well!

  My heart breaks not for me, but for the children. I literally had to stop for a day making calls to the children's social workers to get more information because if I heard one more story that a young child was s*x**lly abused and therefore, showing inappropriate behavior in that area, my heart was going bust into pieces.  We are talking about three year olds for goodness sakes!!!  Eric, who tends to be a very steady type of guy, has even felt the sting of hearing that people do this to their children. Not that we didn't know this was happening in our own country, but what is surprising to us is the magnitude in which it is happening. So many of the children you see on adopt us kids that are in the foster care system are in this situation.

  We are being patient within the process. We pray day and night for the Lord to lead us to the child/ren that HE wants in our home. This will take time, obviously. We do have more calls out there waiting to hear back. However, our prayers have drastically changed to praying for these innocent little souls who have been a victim of the stupidity of adults, whether that be overseas or in our very own country. I remember a bumper sticker that once said, "It shouldn't hurt to be a child."  You can say that again!

  • 11:15 am
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