We had an awesome night last night at church! A missionary family to the Honduras came to speak at our church. Afterwards, our family had the privilege of further fellowship with the Missionaries by going out to dinner with them. Our children had a blast getting to know new friends and learning all about what it's like to be a missionary kid overseas. Jared had fun with wanting to learn Spanish particularly. I had a good giggle though at the end of the night when Jared shouted to the family "Dasvedanya!" (which is Russian, his birth language, for "farewell until we meet again"). When I asked why he said that instead of saying something in Spanish (adios) that he learned or just merely the English "goodbye" his response was, "Because I don't want to say goodbye. I wanted to say until we meet again. They are my friends now!" Aw!! Bless his heart!

So. That was the background to why I was really writing this entry. After we arrived home we quickly got our bedtime routine done and sat down for family prayer. During our prayer time I had shared with the children that the Missionary family needed to raise the rest of their budget to get back overseas by August and asked them ways they thought we could try to save money as a family and possibly help. Both Jared and Caleb simultaneously shouted, "NO TV!" They both quickly agreed we can just watch our DVDs that we already have. I affirmed them, of course, as it was a great idea. I then asked if they had any other thoughts and this is what Jared came up with...

"no mortgage, no taxes and no electricity."

I liked the sound of THAT idea!! Unfortunately, I had to inform him that if we had no mortgage we would have no home and not paying taxes would mean being illegal. No electricity would mean half of the things in our home would no longer work, but we could save by being careful with how much we use. Jared was a little bummed at the idea that it wasn't so simple to just get rid of all those things that Papa had to pay each month. If only life could be as simple as in the mind of a child!

I don't have video yet. I am thinking I need to purchase another program in order to get it off of my minidv player. Sorry about that! It's all so new to me. I do have pics though!

Grammy Dena giving Caleb some encouragement before the recital begins. She is a photographer so I cannot wait to get the real GOOD photos she took of the kids!

They do not allow you to use flash photography during the recital so for pics we had to have them play again afterwards. Caleb actually played his song as a duet with his piano teacher. (Hopefully, I will get that to you via video soon! The smile on his face nearing on the end and at his bow was priceless!!)

Jared played both his songs as a duet as well. One with Eric on guitar and one with his professor.

I was able to snap this one of Eric and Jared practicing just moments before recital began.

My handsome boys at their first recital TOGETHER!

A photo op of all the kids and their "Mini"

Grampa Keith and Grammy Dena came too!

I think this one is self explanatory!

 

Just in case you needed one more look at my four little cuties! I am a blessed mother!!!!!

The boys are excited!! We tried on clothes last night and let them do a dress rehearsal in their formal clothes. There is nothing like watching a nine year old try to put a suit on and figuring out the whole tie by himself! There is also something about Jared putting on a suit that makes him walk around like he's ten feet tall! lol He kept saying he was "Pastor Jared" just like his Papa. Even gave us a little sermonette from the hearth!

Caleb will be wearing a vest instead, but still very "formal" as he puts it. Next year he can graduate to a suit if he sticks with his piano. I will have pics of my handsome little men after tonight, of course! Unfortunately, I don't have any pics to show you of their dress rehearsal because I was busy using our new video camera on the kids to make sure I knew what I was doing for today.

My Mother in Love is on her way to spend the weekend with us. That means lots of family game time! Hopefully some garden time too as "Mini" loves to play with the kids outside. I can already hear in my head the chorus of four voices yelling, "YAY! MINI IS HERE!!!!" That should happen around 1pm.

The boys are beyond excited to have family come see them! I get a hundred questions as to who will be coming. I'm especially delighted Caleb is excited as he didn't want to do the recital at all in the beginning of the year. He actually thanked me last night for encouraging him to do it. Aw!

Lots to do!

....the heart broken Mama was snoring! I slept in late this morning after crying in prayer all night over our adoption.  Today, our paperwork is officially expired. Now it's raining outside. As I listen to the water drops hit our window it feels as if the world is crying with me.  I'm trying to find forgiveness. That is hard for me when an injustice has been done to the life of a child because of bureaucracy. I am trying to find peace. I am trying to find God's voice. As I listen through the rain pouring down I can hear the song of the chickadees. I look out my window and see the opening buds on my lilac tree. New life. New Hope. God will answer.

I have to be honest.... This is so hard!!!

First, it's hard enough to know Ukraine is not as it was back when I adopted my current four children. They are making things so difficult for foreigners to adopt now. Do you know how hard it is for me to know we have a May 8th submission date, but have absolutely NO ability to get a third dossier over there by then if I wanted to?! It's killing me knowing I was so close. Eric says that maybe God is protecting us from something we don't know. I tend to agree, but it sure is hard not asking the WHY to God? KWIM?

Second, Eric and I just don't give up on things because they get hard or complicated. We have been up for night's on end trying to figure out how we can make our Ukraine adoption work if it is salvageable at all. We are in constant communication with our agency who is in constant communication with our Ukrainian facilitator overseas. We count the days and try to figure out the possibility of getting a dossier done, but reality is it can take up to two weeks just for blood work to come back for the specific medical exam Ukraine requires. All of Eric's income information now comes from Missouri with the US Missions department which will take some time. It usually takes awhile for a homestudy visit to happen and for the paper work to conclude. On and on...... Besides, we don't even know whether THIS hypothetical dossier would even work either!

How does one really accept or confidently make a decision that it's over?! We are talking about a lost dream and children's lives here! I can't tell you how many nights I have stayed up praying on my knees before the Lord anguishing over all this. I want clear answers!! Is it clear to others, but we are just unwilling to see it?! Don't answer that!

Third, we have been tracking down information on LOTS of sibling groups in the US. We already have an addendum ready to go if we should proceed in this direction. There are sooooo many children waiting for a forever home right here in our country.

The problem.... The selection of children seriously dwindles rather quickly when you have to consider the level of abuse they have experienced. I have no issue personally with this as I'm up for any challenge when it comes to the life of a child, but I must take in consideration the safety of my current children. Of course, social workers are doing this as well!

My heart breaks not for me, but for the children. I literally had to stop for a day making calls to the children's social workers to get more information because if I heard one more story that a young child was s*x**lly abused and therefore, showing inappropriate behavior in that area, my heart was going bust into pieces.  We are talking about three year olds for goodness sakes!!!  Eric, who tends to be a very steady type of guy, has even felt the sting of hearing that people do this to their children. Not that we didn't know this was happening in our own country, but what is surprising to us is the magnitude in which it is happening. So many of the children you see on adopt us kids that are in the foster care system are in this situation.

We are being patient within the process. We pray day and night for the Lord to lead us to the child/ren that HE wants in our home. This will take time, obviously. We do have more calls out there waiting to hear back. However, our prayers have drastically changed to praying for these innocent little souls who have been a victim of the stupidity of adults, whether that be overseas or in our very own country. I remember a bumper sticker that once said, "It shouldn't hurt to be a child."  You can say that again!

Some of our bushes damaged from the snow are bouncing back while others have died off completely. I am pleased with what has been saved though. They certainly are liking the ability to stretch up to the warm sunshine we have been having!

"The Baby Birds lived right here Mama!"

Jared got concerned that maybe other birds might want to use the nest this year so he placed it back into the bush.

The fence remains a big task to tackle, but seeing that the backyard is still a pond we will tackle that later. For now we have gotten bikes out as well as started playing croquet in the front yard. We also had our first BBQ hamburgers this afternoon. YUM!

Does that boy look happy or what?! This kid ran and ran and ran in circles in excitement that he was free outdoors without snow attire. Literally, the snow disappeared as fast as it came. The next picture is Papa helping Chloe learn how to hit with her mallet. I have found that most croquet pics are not that appealing as you get a lot of unattractive buttocks shots! lol Thus the reason you do not see a pic of me here!

The swingset remains to be a mystery as to whether it will be salvageable. Like I said the back yard is a swamp and still half snow covered so it's hard to access anything right now. Without new babies in the future I am not sure we will need to replace it seeing that we are finding new adventures with our older kiddos. Everyone can do so much more this year! Bike riding is going to be a blast this summer! I think hiking might actually be accomplished without anyone wanting to be carried. I look forward to the new stage our family is entering.

The only disappointing snow damage was to our good camping friend, Myrtle the pop up camper. She got her pin stripes torn right off from the heavy snow on one side where she was parked close to the neighbor's hill! It seems rather strange to me as the other side is fine. Poor Myrtle doesn't look so sporty any more. Eric says it can be fixed. I am just glad Myrtle's roof held up well with all that snow! We were very consistant to clear it off. We haven't popped Myrtle all the way up yet, but we have taken a peek inside and it appears that we have made it through the winter with no unwanted visitors, aka mice. (below are two different pics at different angles even though it almost looks like one pic--- you will see the pretty pin stripes all torn up as well as the fleetwood name This is on the back, not on the side where our door and awning is located.)

Papa gave Myrtle a good wash on the outside after a long hard winter. We cannot wait to go on our first camping trip! We actually have one tenatively schedule for the second week of May depending on how cold it gets at night. Right now it's still going into the 30's so we may not be able to do it because some of us can't take the cold.

Meanwhile, Caleb did a great job scrubbing the picnic table down. Remember how this was completely compacted under snow? We also found that it had sunk six inches into the ground! Papa brought it out into the front yard where it was drier.

Chloe decided to "plant a tree" in our T-Ball stand. It was a piece of dead branch off of my PJM. She is convinced it will grow back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As for our overseas adoption... we received a conflicting report Friday night that our dossier will be submitted on May 8th.  Uh, our dossier expires on April 28th. Looks like the Lord prepared us ahead a time for this disappointment and that our reaction of what was going on was not irrational. Seems we have confirmation now that the adoption center in Kyiv has no plans on cooperating with us.

We do have a new beginning in the adoption realm as well! I don't know if this will get us any where, but it is a step that we are taking. For awhile we have been watching the sibling groups right here in the US who are currently in the foster care system and ready for adoption. Our homestudy is currently getting an addendum added to it to make it relevant to a US adoption. We have already begun to contact social workers on certain children. However, like any adoption process there are no guarantees so we would appreciate your prayers in this journey as well. Pray that the Lord guides us to the right child/ren as well as a social worker who will cooperate with our dynamics of family life, including homeschooling.
      
       

1) Our adoption out of Ukraine seems to be coming to an end with no child/ren for us. In some ways I find great relief to have a conclusion as I have been on this journey for over 18 months. Going no where, being glued to the house, because you are afraid of missing that email or phone call or perhaps having to run and do one more legal piece of paperwork gets tiresome. Unfortunately, that relief does not come without some heart ache either! I have needed my space to grieve. It has been hard to find words to update anybody at this point. This is the best I can do for now. We have begun to unpack our overseas suitcases.... We must trust and lean on the Lord. He always answers our prayers but sometimes that answer is a no. God knows what is best! I'm grateful He has spared us from going over to then come back empty handed. If it had to happen I'm glad it did in the way it did. God always knows what we can handle!!

2) We are looking for other options to add blessings to our family
domestically. More on that later.

3) I am eager for Summer to arrive so our family can get out and ENJOY
the things we love the most! We all need a time of refreshing to our
souls. Right now we are looking to take some family time in June to
spend alone on a Maine island. We will be camping off season in hopes
of finding some solitude as we enjoy God's beauty together. I cannot wait!!! For those of you that don't know we spent our honey moon on a Maine Island and this June will be our 14th anniversary. Yup, kids will be involved in our celebration! Just like we celebrate their arrival into the family they celebrate the beginnning of our family that started when we got married. We like it that way!

4) In the meantime, we are enjoying the flowers peaking up out of the snow. There is also a LOT of work to do in our yard once the snow all melts. One entire side of our fencing has fallen apart from the snow build up. We have a ton of tree limbs down and our arbovities along with much of our front landscaping are all damaged. Although it's sad to see I am looking forward to working as a family to get our yard looking beautiful again. We all love digging in the dirt! :O) I wish a good fairy could come and do the fence painting though! It looks like we will be looking for a new swingset as well. The snow killed ours! The top bar is bowed something terrible and while we cannot yet get to all the different seats it doesn't appear the thing will be very safe after having a 100 year record setting amount of snow on top of it. The children will be delighted to have something new! Now I am just hoping we can find something in our budget. Have you ever looked at the pricing of those wooden play sets recently?

OOOOH! Here is another one I just found on Sonlight (our homeschool curriculum board). I cannot say we have successfully done this, but thought you all might enjoy to know about it BEFORE Saturday night passes if you have littles in the house. I will definitely try to have pics up after Easter of our family doing this!

To be made the evening before Easter:

You need:

1 cup whole pecans
1 tsp. vinegar
3 egg whites
Pinch Salt
1 cup sugar

Zipper baggie
Wooden spoon
Tape
Bible

Preheat oven to 300 degrees (this is important don't wait until you're half done with the recipe)!

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces.

Explain that after Jesus was arrested, he was beaten by the Roman soldiers.

Read John 16:1-3

Let each child smell and/or taste the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl.

Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink.

Read John 19:28-30

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life.

Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life.

Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl.

Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our sin.

Read Luke 23:27.

Add 1 cup sugar.

Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to him.

Read Ps. 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed.

Explain that the color white Represents—in God's eyes—the purity of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.

Read Isa. 1:18 and John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet.

Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid.

Read Matt. 27:57-60

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven
OFF.

Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.

Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed.

Read Matt 27:65-66.

GO TO BED!

Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven
overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.

Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite.

The cookies are hollow!

On the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty.

Read Matt. 28:1-9

Just thought I would put this up again in the case anyone that saw the pics on my blog of us doing it last year here would like to do it with their kiddos this year. It's yummy and very fun! My kids are begging to do it again this Sunday!

Resurrection
Rolls

Here's
a new twist on the Resurrection Cookie idea for Easter, both are recipes you can
do with your kids/grand kids in order for them to understand the death and
resurrection of Jesus Christ. This fun recipe uses Crescent rolls and a
disappearing marshmallow!

Preheat Oven to 350 degrees

May you have a blessed and meaningful Easter!

- Author Unknown -